


Dirge

by SnowboundWanderer



Series: Our Hearts Entwined, Our Stories Onward [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crimson Flower Route, F/M, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Black Eagles Route, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mental Health Issues, Nudity, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Sexual Content, Survivor Guilt, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:21:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21565255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowboundWanderer/pseuds/SnowboundWanderer
Summary: Felix had always been entranced by the joyful tunes Annette sung. Hearing her sing lamentations is something else entirely.
Relationships: Annette Fantine Dominic/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Series: Our Hearts Entwined, Our Stories Onward [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1563568
Comments: 3
Kudos: 57





	Dirge

Most people considered the setting of the sun to be the most beautiful time of the day, a last flash of warm and vibrant colors before the darkness took hold. He’d heard Ignatz call it the “golden hour” at one point.

None of that really meant much to Felix; the sun being in the west meant you should orient yourself so that it was to your back and your opponent’s eyes. Still, he wouldn’t pretend that it wasn’t a nice at aesthetic to walk to. And if he found who he was seeking, he’d have a vision that he would never be able to deny was beautiful.

A soldier had pointed him towards a section of the forest just south of the monastery. Felix was pretty sure where his quarry was: a glade with a babbling brook running through it. Petra and Claude had discovered it during their academy days, and it had become a favorite spot for everyone to escape to: either from the worries of tests or more recently the pain and terror of war.

As he got closer, Felix began to hear a familiar cadence, one that compelled him to increase his pace. Pushing through some shrubbery, he found himself at one end of the glade looking at the ginger hair and back of Annette Dominic. The sunbeams still making their way through the trees wreathed her in a way that made Felix feel breathless. She stood in front of the brook, head down as if in contemplation.

♫ _But if hose and shoes you gave none, every night and all,_

_The thorns shall prick you to the bare bone;_

_And the Goddess receive you soul._ ♫

Felix paused, hearing the sadness and pain in Annette’s voice. He knew he wouldn’t be able to resist approaching her, but decided to see where the song went.

♫ _From thorny moor then you may pass, every night and all_

_To Bridge of Dread you come at last;_

_And the Goddess receive your soul._ ♫

Annette was entitled to sing whatever she wanted to, of course, but Felix could not help but feel as if this was some sort of perversion: the woman who sings of cleaning and plants growing making a melancholy tune about what was clearly death. He moved into the glade and began to approach her with purpose.

♫ _If ever you gave silver and gold, every night and all_

 _At Bridge of Dread-_ ♫

“Annette.”

Felix, having learned Annette’s tendency for clumsiness, immediately shot out his arm and grabbed Annette as he began to fall forward in shock at the interruption. He caught her before she fell into the water, and she quickly spun around and wrapped herself around him for a brief second before steadying herself and moving back from him.

“Felix!” she exclaimed, adrenaline clearly still moving through her veins. “You can’t just sneak up on people like that, especially me!”

“Sorry,” he said, and he meant it, even though his voice probably didn’t indicate it. “I was looking for you and heard you singing, and it wasn’t exactly your normal tune.”

Annette didn’t immediately respond, instead sadly staring at her feet. “I was talking to Hanneman about teaching, and he said it would probably be a few years before they rebuilt the monastery and deemed it safe to serve as a school again. So I decided to come out here, and I guess my mind…wandered a bit.”

“Who were you singing about?” Felix asked, though he already knew the answer.

“Just…my father. And me.”

“What about you two?”

“Nothing really, just thinking.”

Felix was pretty damn sure it wasn’t nothing. He watched as Annette’s lips started to quiver, and braced himself for the inevitable outburst.

“Oh Felix!” Annette cried, lunging at him and burying her face in the crook of his shoulder. Felix wrapped his arms around her and made small rubbing motions into her back while she shivered in his arms. Eventually she mumbled something that Felix couldn’t make out.

“What was that?”

Annette pulled away again and looked down, tears forming at her eyes. “I’m a monster.”

“A monster? For what, killing your father?” Felix asked, feeling vaguely offended that she could ever think such a thing of herself. “Not like you had much choice. And the dastard left you something to remember him by.”

“Don’t bring that up again,” Annette huffed, rolling her eyes in frustration. “I’m fine, see-argh!” Annette attempted to twist her torso, only to once again end up in Felix’s arms.

“Are you okay?” Felix asked, worry seeped into his voice as he gently clutched Annette’s side. She had landed the killing blow on her father and the troops he led, but not before a thrown tomahawk had cleaved through Annette’s side. Marianne’s quick intervention had saved her life, but it had left a nasty scar along her left flank that would likely never really fade. Seeing her grimace in pain made his own scars ache, particularly the burn marks on his upper back that his own father’s holy magic had left on him before Felix had plunged his sword through his heart.

“I’m fine,” she snapped. “It’s bad enough when Mercie, Lindhardt, Marianne, and Manuela all gang up on me. Please don’t add to it.”

Felix nodded, knowing there was nothing more to say about it. Regarding the ‘monster’ part though…”So what makes you say you’re a monster? You keep saying I’m not, and I enjoyed killing my father and all the Kingdom soldiers who had looked up to me once.”

Annette only shook her head sadly. “No you didn’t, Felix. I’ve heard you in your sleep. And even with the mask you put on in public, I don’t think anyone really buys it.”

“Okay, fine,” Felix huffed, not eager to delve into that topic, especially with Annette’s issue unresolved. “But that still leaves open why you think _you’re_ a monster.”

“Well, on what you were saying about enjoying it. I didn’t enjoy it; I can count the number of things I’ve enjoyed the past few years on one hand,” Annette said, gazing up at the sky with an expression of sadness mixed with wistfulness. Her head came down after a few seconds to lock eyes with Felix. “But the more I think about everything that happened, the more I feel…or a part of me feels…glad that he’s dead, and glad that I’m the one who killed him.”

“Why?” Felix asked, feeling slightly surprised.

“It’s just…” Annette began, gesticulating in frustration. “I think of the time he abandoned mother and I, and all the times he ignored me at the monastery.” She paused, taking a few deep breaths before continuing. “But most of all, I think of Fhirdiad, all the fire, the screams…”

Felix felt the need to say something at this point, but decided against it, biting his tongue as Annette collected herself.

“When I was in the infirmary tent, Mercie came to see the morning after the battle. She looked…she looked so _broken,_ Felix. She kept trying to avoid my questions by fussing over me, but eventually she started talking about how she’d volunteered to help search for survivors and bodies, and how there were…so many bodies. Scarred survivors talking about how the Church soldiers had barricaded them in their homes before setting them ablaze, children clutching the charred remains of their parents, and…” Annette choked back a sob. “Ferdinand told me that when they’d discovered the remains of some really young children, Mercie…”

Felix nodded. He’d been on the other side of the square with Ingrid, having volunteered for body detail themselves, when he’d heard Mercedes piercing wail, more haunting then any of the ones she’d made while trying to scare everyone with ghost stories. He found himself feeling very glad that Annette hadn’t had to hear it.

“And amidst all that murder, that _slaughter,_ my father was just standing there looking sorry for himself!” Annette said loudly, anger seeping into her voice. “Even if he didn’t torch anything himself, he didn’t do anything to help the people he’d sworn to protect!”

Felix saw the anger slowly drain from her face, replaced with anguish. “And I think…” she said quietly, cutting him off as he opened his mouth to speak. “That if I hadn’t made the decision to join the Black Eagle house, and then run away from a giant dragon screaming for the professor’s death…I probably would have been there with him. Using my own fire to murder those people just to spite the Empire.”

“I don’t believe that,” Felix said forcefully. “Not for one second do I think you’d have done that.”

Annette shook her head. “If I’d stayed with the Kingdom, I’d have spent five years listening to the mad speeches the ‘Tempest King’ and ‘Immaculate One’ were making; it would have changed me.”

“But you didn’t, you weren’t there. You were here with us, and you still are,” Felix said, “You’re alive,” he quietly added to himself, though he was sure Annette heard it.

“I’d deserve death if I’d been there,” she stated matter-of-factly. “I can’t get how Mercie’s face - how everyone’s faces looked - in the days after the battle. Even Edelgard and Hubert looked broken and furious, and I didn’t even know Hubert was capable of that.”

“I think it’s perfectly natural to hate people who set children on fire,” Felix said, earning a sad laugh from Annette at the sheer obviousness of the statement. “You’re not a monster for putting someone like that down.”

“I guess…” she said, seemingly unconvinced. “There’s still the fact that I did it, though.”

Felix sighed, rubbing his temple as he tried to think of his own response. “When we attacked Arianrhod, when I killed my father…Sylvain and Ingrid were fretting over me like a mother hen about it, but if one of them had been the one to land it, they probably would have thought I’d despise them. Imagine if Mercedes had been the one to strike your father down. She’d probably be avoiding you like a plague.”

Annette shuddered, and Felix immediately regretted putting that thought into her head, even if it was the truth. “The months we spent not really talking to each other was horrible enough,” Annette said. “I couldn’t bear that, not again.”

“So you spared the people you care about from the hurt of think they hurt you,” Felix stated. “That doesn’t make you a monster either.”

“I suppose that’s one way to look at it,” Annette said, shaking her head. “I mean, I know it’s barely been a month, and time heals all wounds, but…”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Felix said sadly, thoughts of the boar - Dimitri - went through his mind, to say nothing of Glenn’s voice that had been in his mind for years.

“I don’t know…” Annette said thoughtfully. “Maybe time does heal all wounds, but if you don’t set it properly, it heals all…wrong.” She sighed, and embraced Felix once again. “How do we make sure we set our wounds right, Felix?”

“I don’t know,” Felix said, leaning down to press his forehead to hers. “I do know that, when you sing, it makes me forget about Glenn, and my father, and all the other shit that’s happened. I feel…at peace. I wish I knew how to do that for you.”

“I’ll always have a melody for you, Felix,” Annette said, raising her head to capture his lips in a kiss. “And you help me, in so many ways.”

Felix felt his mouth strain as he smiled and drew her in for another kiss. They continued for several minutes, languid and deep, before Annette pulled away for air.

“The sunset is really beautiful,” she said, looking around his shoulder.

Felix turned his head to view the pinks and yellows in the in the sky as the sun disappeared behind the horizon. “Huh, guess it is. I don’t look at it too much, better to keep my back to it so the sun’s in my opponent’s eyes.”

“You dork,” Annette said, thumping him on the shoulder and grinning despite herself. Felix grinned in response. “We should get back,” Annette said more seriously. “I trip over things when its broad daylight, don’t want to try navigating the forest in the dark.”

They turned and walked back to the monastery, hand in hand as the night descended.

——————

Felix wasn’t sure how many hours it had been since they’d returned to the monastery. Only that after they’d reached the room they had shared, they had begun to furiously kiss and strip each other of their clothes. He felt absolutely exhausted after the many rounds they had gone, laying on his back with his head sinking into one of the pillows. Annette had her eyes closed and a large smile on her face, resting her head on his chest and pressing her naked body as close to his as she could, in spite of the sweat and heat from their lovemaking. He felt himself drifting off before he heard Annette’s voice break through.

“Hanneman said he couldn’t think of anyone better than the two of us to be teachers once the academy is open again,” she said, gazing at Felix. “He said until then we should travel while we were still ‘young, in love, and had legs that didn’t ache from walking.”

Felix snorted before losing himself in thought. After the war, he had always assumed he’d wander Fódlan as a walking sword, a beast. That was until a maiden’s voice had soothed him, at least somewhat. “Maybe you should try out for the Mittlefrank Opera Company. Your voice is just as beautiful as Dorathea and Manuela’s.”

Annette giggled a little bit as she nuzzled Felix’s chest. “Pretty sure my songs aren’t what the high society of Adrestia is interested in. I think I’ll just have to stick to my captive audience of one.”

Felix chuckled. “Well, I certainly enjoy making you sing,” he said as he moved an arm that was wrapped around her torso and grasped her rear, giving it a hearty squeeze.

Annette giggled some more, retaliating by reaching one of her hands to gently grasp Felix’s manhood. “Well I can certainly keep making songs just for you. ♫ _Oh how I just love your dick, cause it’s so nice and thick!_ ♫”

Felix laughed, letting his head fall back onto the pillow. “That’s a bastardization of the cleaning song.”

“Hmph, fine,” Annette huffed in faux-indignation, as Felix felt her shift upwards. There was a pause before he heard her voice start again, distinctly huskier. “Although I suppose there’s other ways to use my mouth to show my appreciation of your talents.”

Felix’s head shot up to look at Annette’s grinning face, now much closer to his. She quickly dove in and gave him a short peck on tip of his nose before pulling back and looking far too pleased with herself. “Like that, see?”

Felix’s head again fell back on his pillow, his ribcage vibrating with contained laughter. He heard Annette’s giggling as she shifted up to rest on an adjacent pillow, still angling her head so that it was buried in Felix’s neck. They re-entangled their limbs, and Felix breathed deeply, in and out and in again as Annette hummed melodies into his neck before he felt her relax and breathing even out. Peaceful sleep claimed him shortly thereafter.


End file.
